Love humour

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Love is out of this world – the Love Nebula!

Here are some of my favorite quotes from Leah Garchik’s “Overheard Love Quotes” column in the SF Chronicle. She actually did 3 columns of actual reported eavesdropping! Be careful what you say!


— “I get attractive … after six drinks.” (Woman on the dance floor at office Christmas party, overheard by Mark Larson.)– “I’m not a bad guy … a little creepy maybe, but not a bad guy.” (Man to man, overheard walking near the UC Berkeley campus by June Vonich.)

— “I need to find a boyfriend because I need to argue with somebody.” (Woman to woman, overheard on Hayes near Fillmore by Ronn L. Robbins.)

— “I’m so tired of dating people who don’t have decent jobs or career goals or lives, or can put themselves together or even have their own car. From now on, I’m only going out with people who have the ‘tions: compensation, transportation, motivation, ambition, attraction.” (Woman to man, overheard by Tim Wu.)

— “If I were a vegetarian, I’d brag about it. I’d probably get laid a lot more often.” (Man to man, overheard on Telegraph Avenue by Christina Tuccillo.)

— “I’m looking for a green man: high productivity and zero emissions.” (Overheard in Macy’s in Corte Madera by Jon Dreyer.)

— “If only I was 20 years younger and lesbian.” (Woman speaking about her yoga teacher, overheard by Elaine Geffen.)

— “Call your wife first. And then call the contortionist.” (Fifty-something male to companion, overheard at the ESPN zone for NBA All-Star weekend in Las Vegas by Anthony Passanisi.)

— “How is it that I get set up on a blind date with the one guy in Santa Cruz that’s a Republican?’ (Woman on cell phone, overheard on Pacific Avenue in Santa Cruz by Amy Wolitzer.)

— “Well, he lives in the Lower Haight and works in Marin. He’s like a jock-thug-hipster.” (Woman on cell phone describing her new love interest, overheard on the 22 Fillmore by Rachel Huysentruyt.)

— “Every new boyfriend makes you get rid of the things the last boyfriend made you buy.” (Woman overheard at Cafe Flore by Brian Bringardner.)

— “I don’t know if we’ll get along. He’s a liberal Democrat and I’m a communist.” (Woman at Caffe Trieste, overheard by Donna Bero.)

— “She’ll probably talk about you on her blog tomorrow.” (Overheard hiking up the Eagle Peak Trail on Mount Diablo by Mike Palmer.)

— “He can’t get totally wasted because he’s gotta donate sperm tomorrow.” (Young woman to young woman, overheard on the 33 Stanyan by Tom Canaday.)

— “It’s not every day you find yourself dating a bullfighter.” (Woman to friend, overheard in front of the Conservatory of Flowers by The Chronicle’s Anastasia Hendrix.)

— “Yes, I told him I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend. I mean I live in San Francisco, don’t I?” (Person on cell phone on Montgomery Street, overheard by N. Stricker.)

— “The first time she tried to break up with him, they weren’t even going together.” (Teenage girl to teenage boy, overheard in Alamo Square by Donna Laemmlen.)

— “I’m glad you asked. Yes, I was once charged with attempted murder.” (Couple on what seemed to be first date, overheard at NOPA by B. Stormont.)

— “So I told him, ‘I don’t want your phone number! I just want to make out.’ ” (Young woman on cell phone, overheard at City College in San Francisco by Hallie Strock.)

— “We tried a popsicle cover, but it broke.” (Teenage boy to teenage boy, overheard on the 43-Masonic by Dedo Tres.)

— “Barack Obama. We’ve made it our new safe word.” (Woman to woman, overheard at the bar at Cafe Rouge by Desmond Yen.)

— “Two small regulars.” “Regulars?” “Yeah, I have a different lover this morning.” (Young man talking with barista, overheard early morning at the French Hotel Cafe in Berkeley by Robin May.)

— “I had to get a king-size bed. I’m dating a couple.” (Customer overheard at White Horse Bar in Oakland by J.T.G.)

— “He kept trying to put the moves on me, but then again, I was the one without clothes on.” (Woman on cell phone, overheard outside a ground-floor window by Paul Hamberis.)

— “My grandfather found himself another woman.” (Fourth-grader telling fellow Marin County carpoolers why he has an extra grandmother, overheard by Jill Sperber.)

— “I feel like I’m the luckiest guy in the world, ‘cuz I keep running into these beautiful women with low self-esteem.” (Guy to friends, overheard on the Alameda-Oakland ferry by Jennifer de Graaf.)

— “I know he’s going to propose to her. Guys don’t just go into jewelry stores to look around.” (One young woman to another, overheard on the F line by Donald Clausing.)

— “He’s so cheap, he could have gasoline dripping from his nipples and he still wouldn’t drive his car across the bay to see me.” (Woman in line at Noe Valley Bank of America, overheard by Dennis Gordon.).

— “Yeah, he’s addicted to love. But he’s allergic to life.” (Man discussing high school classmate, overheard at Thanksgiving dinner by Bruce Wodhams.)

— “And then I saw that he had an aol.com e-mail address, and that pretty much settled that.” (Punky young woman to friend, overheard at Naan n’ Chutney in the lower Haight by Eric Kessell.)

— “Dude, you can’t give wine in a box to chicks.” (Young gent to pal, overheard at the College Avenue Safeway in Oakland by Peter Shelton.)

— “Well if she can’t even say no to her siblings, how is she ever going to reject some jerk who has sex with cows?” (Woman standing in line at the Lumiere, overheard by Tosha Silver.)

— “That’s horrible. I would have spit right back at him!” (Woman on cell phone, overheard on Chestnut Street by Shirley Davalos.)

— “Tell him if he says anything about last night, I’m never sleeping with his girlfriend again.” (Woman on cell phone, overheard in parking lot of Kaiser Hospital in Redwood City by Capt. Harry.)

— “It’s really hard to make major life changes and keep the same boyfriend.” (Young woman on the 38-Geary, overheard by Steven Marker.)

— “Babe, I just told you, I’m a hero, not a zero.” (Man talking loudly on cell phone, overheard at 24th and Mission by Kristian Nergaard.)

— “Sushi is a date food. I don’t want to have to say, ‘This is not a date.’ ” (Overheard at a hotdog stand at Montgomery and Market by Michael Raifsnider.)

— “He was too mellow for even, like, sarcasm.” (Young 20ish woman to companion, overheard at Pine and Montgomery by Robyn Todd.)

— “No, Claire is my roommate. Kevin is my girlfriend.” (Man to man, overheard at the elevators at 77 Beale by Vernon Jenkins.)

— “You know you’ve gotta be careful when you marry, because divorce is forever.” Woman to woman, overheard at Crissy Field by Patricia Molino.)

— “The elephant for the wedding has gout.” (Woman passenger overheard by A.G., driver of a Luxor Cab.)

— “Elope!” (Bride in full wedding regalia to passing teenagers who offered congratulations, overheard at Fort Tryon Park in Manhattan by The Chronicle’s Nanette Asimov.)

— “I’d marry you just to divorce you.” (Woman to co-worker, overheard in office by Casey Taylor.)

— “She’s Buddhist, he’s Catholic, so they’re meeting each other halfway and having the wedding in Vegas.” (Woman to woman, overheard at a holiday party by Kareasa Wilkins.)

— “You know what I like most about how far our relationship has come? We’re both now equally greedy.” (Man to woman, overheard in the parking lot of the North Berkeley Safeway by Kary Schulman.)

— “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about (pause, sigh). I guess that’s why I married him.” (Middle-aged woman to friend, overheard at Trader Joe’s in Westlake by Bill Gnoss.)

Check out more great quotes at: Leah Garchik


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5 thoughts on “Love humour

  1. I Have To Be Honest And Say That I Enjoyed Your Post “Love humour” I Came Across Your Site When I Was Doing A Google Search On “Dating a Divorced Man” And I Felt That I Should Drop A Note To Let You Know What A Great Site You Have. I Can Not Agree With You 100% Regarding Some Thoughts, But You Got A Good Point Of View Over This Issue.

  2. Wish I could say I am responsible for these thought provoking quotes, but I only bring them to you via Leah Garlick, who is a columnist for SF Chronicle. Glad you enjoyed it.

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